Making connections through Dungeons & Dragons
Three days ago, my son Vincent was killed in a pedestrian/automobile accident. They were 25.
I cannot begin to describe what I'm feeling right now. It's a grief that is both surreal and indescribable. Thank you for your kind comments and condolences.
I have been estranged from my children from a previous marriage for about 8 years now. The reasons aren't important, but what is happening now is.
And it in part is about our shared love for D&D.
Vincent reached out to me a couple of years ago via text. He wanted to reconnect and rebuild a relationship. There were a couple of phone calls, but mostly text. Millenials wanting to text versus Gen-X'ers who will still talk on the phone, but I was OK with it. However,/whatever they wanted, at the pace they wanted.
One of the things we connected on was through D&D. They played D&D with friends and drew a lot of their characters. Vincent was a fantastic artist. He had an eye and a way of drawing that was very evocative. He'd been drawing since an early age and always came back to it.
We texted about our respective games. He had known, previously living with me, of my love of old school D&D and miniatures painting. He was really encouraging of my results, and I shared a lot of pics with him.
Vincent had grown quiet and busy over the past few months with self-work and school, but I know that he was still playing.
I'm still going to play D&D this coming Sunday, in part in memory of him.
Today, I had coffee with my ex and my youngest child, Adrian. They had played a bit of D&D with me and my step-son back in 2009, 2010. They are still playing today! They found it really funny that I had saved those character sheets from ten years ago.
It served as a nice way of sharing and reconnecting. They are quite the fun-troublemaking player, and we had a lot of laughs at their stories of their shenanigans. They spoke about how D&D enriched their life and even get them through tough spots. T
This thing that we do - it creates connections and shared experiences that allow us to bridge differences and distance. It is more, at times, than just a game.
In this really fucked up moment in my life, when I am doing something unbelievable - grieving the death of a child - that small though, those memories and shared enjoyment give me a comfort.
Hug your loved ones and cherish your friends and your D&D. We are not guaranteed tomorrow and we can be taken away at the blink of an eye.