Inspiration and focus

Noisms over at Monsters & Manuals writes about RPG books and the "ontological flicker." They talk about the pleasure of reading RPGs for their own sake.

I have to agree with that flicker, in terms of going from the physical act of reading to thinking/imagining, but I find that I do that for almost EVERYTHING these days.

I'm watching "Last Kingdom" on Netflix and taking notes on how the lords and kings act in complete self-interest. Notes for my NPCs.

When I watched "Endgame", I picked up a couple of ideas on boss battles.

I'm watching a movie on Blackmoor and Dave Arneson and I'm taking notes, imagining how I could use this and that in my campaign.

Over the past ten years, Etinerra has taken over my creative focus almost exclusively. I paint miniatures thinking about how they'll fit into the world. I write stories and they invariably shift focus to something related to a Duchy that I've not yet played in. I swear, sometimes I think I'm dreaming about Etinerra.

It's become an obsession of sorts, and I feel frustrated that I can't write all of my ideas down. My Google Notes and my Speaknotes app get used quite a bit, as do random emails I send myself for ideas of this and that.

If anyone tried to follow my notes, they'd think I was mad. Maybe I am.

I just hope that all this translates to what my players experience at the table. I think I have a bit of a type of "imposter's syndrome" except that I'm not feeling like I don't belong, I find that I'm hoping that the vision I have of my world somehow translates to what my players see.