On being a DM with Aspergers
I've been pretty open about my diagnosis of Aspergers for awhile now, as well as realizing how it affects my choices as a DM. It's also one of the main reasons why that age-old drama that happened with a certain *cough* organization *cough* ended so badly for me... My Aspie tends to see things very black/white, on/off, fact/not-fact - which is a trait many other Aspies share.
It's amazing how much it drives me though... this is my brain wiring we're talking about. It doesn't get much more real and concrete than the way my brain functions and sees the world around me. It's not something I can take a pill or go to some therapy and *bamf* I'm like the rest of the NTs (neuro-typicals), no, I'm pretty much stuck with this.
But the real point of this is not a boo-hoo, waaah deal. In all honesty, I wanted more to share that as a way of understanding why I'm not comfortable with in-town adventures. It's the drama and the *emotional* aspect, that it's easier to be a monster, than to run as other humans and try to present a "normal" human response to interactions.
So in some sense, I like some of the "read this" text and the "the NPCs will do this" scripts - it gives me ideas and ways to pull off those bits that otherwise might be hard for me. When I say that I'm liberally scraping from TV, movies, literature, there's a more real need for me than just inspiration. It's a guideline to how I will play the NPCs.
So if you see me being quiet at a con or event, I'm not some stuck up ass. It's shyness. The brain just doesn't compute how to comfortably mingle and interact, unless I know you already from online.
It's amazing how much it drives me though... this is my brain wiring we're talking about. It doesn't get much more real and concrete than the way my brain functions and sees the world around me. It's not something I can take a pill or go to some therapy and *bamf* I'm like the rest of the NTs (neuro-typicals), no, I'm pretty much stuck with this.
But the real point of this is not a boo-hoo, waaah deal. In all honesty, I wanted more to share that as a way of understanding why I'm not comfortable with in-town adventures. It's the drama and the *emotional* aspect, that it's easier to be a monster, than to run as other humans and try to present a "normal" human response to interactions.
So in some sense, I like some of the "read this" text and the "the NPCs will do this" scripts - it gives me ideas and ways to pull off those bits that otherwise might be hard for me. When I say that I'm liberally scraping from TV, movies, literature, there's a more real need for me than just inspiration. It's a guideline to how I will play the NPCs.
So if you see me being quiet at a con or event, I'm not some stuck up ass. It's shyness. The brain just doesn't compute how to comfortably mingle and interact, unless I know you already from online.